Summary: The Scoobies have a small accident that leads
to some major changes in their lives
Rating: NC17
Timing: Takes place S5, shortly after Family but before Fool for Love
Disclaimer All kinds of gender stereotypes were harmed
in the writing of this story. Any injured copyrights were unintentional
Notes Mydeira is my Beta Nazi, but she knows I'm her bitch.
This story was inspired by a very old Star Trek fanfic titled The Procrustean Petard,
by Sondra Marshak and Myrna Culbreath. Of course, they didn't actually have sex in theirs . . .
The title is a quote from Storm Front, by Jim Butcher.
You haven't lived until you've heard James say those three words
together in that soft, caramel rich voice of his . . . guh.
Chapter 16 Fighting Like A Girl
“Again. Faster this time.”
Giles winced as Buffy’s knee came up into the sparring pads on his hand, followed by fists and foot in rapid succession. Her strength had certainly increased. “Higher,” he said sternly, raising the pads. “Again.”
She braced herself at the ready and glared at him. “Geez, Giles, what am I, spaghetti? I’m getting them as high as I can.”
He stepped back, dropping his hands with a sigh. “Buffy, even in this arguably less flexible body, you should still be able to throw a decent side kick. You’re barely reaching my hip.”
“It’s the stick up her bum,” Spike’s musical snark piped up. “Pokin’ her in all new ways.”
Giles glanced back over his shoulder at the peanut gallery that had formed along the fringes of the training room. Normally combat training was even less interesting to them than research, but the oddity of the current situation had them all curious. The only one not there was Anya, who had refused to leave the register as long as the store was open. Willow and Tara sat on the sagging love seat, books open but ignored in their laps. Riley leaned against the wall near the door, arms folded across his chest as he watched critically. Xander leaned over the empty counter, watching but somehow distracted. Spike perched atop the vaulting horse, his hands fidgeting on the pommels, his legs swinging. Somewhere he had come up with a tight baby doll t-shirt with the words “I’m not a princess, I’m a goddess!” emblazoned across the chest. He was smirking widely, obviously enjoying carping at their training attempts.
Giles turned his back to Spike without responding. “Riley, would you care to demonstrate?”
Riley looked surprised, but pushed up off the wall to cross to the middle of the floor. Buffy backed off, positioning herself to observe better. Riley settled himself into fighting stance in front of Giles, raising his fists. “All out?” he asked respectfully.
Giles braced himself, positioning the pads again to protect his head and chest. He’d taken enough missed shots from Buffy to be defensive. “Full speed, half strength.” No need to take foolish chances.
Riley just nodded, focusing on the pads as he bounced on his toes once, twice, before his fists lashed out, tagging the bags in rapid succession before snapping out his right leg, catching the pad just as Giles got it in front of his chest. He instantly pulled back into ready stance.
Giles nodded his approval. “Excellent.”
Buffy was impressed. “How did you do that?”
Riley relaxed his posture. “You’re used to being able to kick without any major adjustments to your torso. I can only kick so high, so I lean to raise it up higher.”
“Show me again.”
He demonstrated it slowly several times and then again at full speed. Buffy copied him, and by the fourth time seemed to be getting the difference. But meanwhile Giles’ hands were starting to buzz. He pulled them out of the mitts and shook them lightly. “Why don’t you two spar with each other while the feeling returns to my fingers.”
Buffy grinned and quickly moved back into the middle of the floor to face off against Riley. “Think you can take me this time?”
He grinned back, already in motion. “Well, you’ve lost your advantage.” He threw a punch at her head that she easily dodged.
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
He blocked her combination, catching her wrist for a moment. “You aren’t a girl, so I’m not going to feel bad hitting you.”
And then there was no more talking.
Giles was impressed with the grace of their fighting. Riley’s military training showed clearly. Every punch he threw was precise, every kick going exactly where he intended. Buffy simply responded, purely defensive. But Giles could see her studying him, learning until she was able to predict his next attack. And that’s when she struck.
Riley had been prepared for the kick they’d been practicing. The palm heel strike in the middle of his chest surprised him, flinging him backwards to crash into the wall and then to the floor where he lay, stunned.
Giles reached him at the same time Buffy did, and between the two of them they helped him sit up. He simply sat there, head between his knees, wheezing, before he was finally able to lift his head and smile ruefully. “Well, at least I can still sort of hold my own against you full strength.”
Giles glanced at Buffy in surprise. That hadn’t looked like full strength, even for her female form. She didn’t say anything, just surreptitiously shook her head.
Finally Riley was able to get to his feet. “I’m fine. Just needed to catch my breath.”
“Yes, well, I believe Buffy has gotten the hang of things. Perhaps we should take a break.”
“But what if she comes up against something smaller than her?” Xander spoke up curiously from his position behind the counter.
“I think I can take the little guys, Xander,” Buffy said impatiently.
“But that’s just it. You’re so little yourself, you’ve never fought anything smaller than yourself except Gaknar, and he really doesn’t count.”
“But still . . .”
“No, Buffy,” Giles interrupted, “I think Xander has a point. You are used to aiming above you. A miscalculation at the wrong point could be catastrophic.”
“Well, what do you want me to do, fight on my knees?”
“Spike . . .”
“Oh, no!” Spike protested from his perch on the horse. “‘M not your punching bag, Watcher. Can’t hit back, remember? I’m not gonna get worked over just so your girl can learn how to kick my ass better.”
Giles sighed. “Fine. Will you at least let us use you for a demonstration with Riley? Just so Buffy can see the difference?”
“I think not.”
“What’s the matter, Spike,” Buffy taunted. “Afraid you’ll get hurt now that you’re just a girl?”
He glared at her. “You should know better.”
“Yeah, but do you?”
His eyes narrowed, but he slid down off the vault. “Fine. Come on, Cardboard, let’s show the lady what you can do.”
Giles saw Riley’s face shift through emotion quickly—anticipation, embarrassment, just a touch of anger—before he focused himself. “My pleasure, Toothless.”
Their first moves were feints, designed to feel each other out. Giles moved behind Buffy to comment as they watched. “Fighting a smaller target isn’t just about aim,” he said quietly, never taking his eyes off the fighters. “You always have to remember that an opponent who is smaller is probably also quicker and more dexterous.” The two moved across the floor slowly, Spike defending as he retreated, Riley pressing his advantage a little harder each time. “They are more likely to dodge you, and if they can get hold. . .”
It was as though Spike were following Giles’ coaching. Frustration finally overcame him, and when Riley launched a side kick at him, Spike caught Riley’s calf in both hands without thinking and yanked with all his might, throwing him end over end to land in a crashing heap on the mat.
Spike didn’t twitch.
Everyone froze, the implication dawning on them all in an instant. They all surged into sudden action, but Spike was the fastest. Fisting both hands together, he drove them down at Riley’s head with a feral screech.
The screech turned into a scream of agony before the attack could ever land.
An instant later, Buffy tackled him, driving his twitching body to the floor feet away from Riley. Giles snatched a sword off the wall behind him, cursing the fact that they didn’t actually train with stakes. A quick glance showed him that everyone in the room was on their feet and armed, Xander with a small labrys, Tara and Willow with crossbow and knives snatched from their storage locker near the couch.
Spike didn’t move, just echoed Riley’s groans of pain. When he didn’t struggle, Buffy abandoned him, going to help Riley back to his feet. Giles offered the same service to Spike, then cursed his automatic chivalry that had him treating Spike like the woman he wasn’t. Fortunately Spike ignored the offered hand, sitting up just enough to hold his obviously aching head. “What the hell, Rupert?”
Giles set the sword aside, hearing the others do the same, releasing a collective sigh. They wouldn’t have to fight an unchipped Spike today. “Did you feel anything when you threw him?”
Spike gingerly shook his head.
“But you obviously did when you attacked.”
Spike swallowed painfully. “Yeah. It was like the first time it happened. Searing, blinding.”
Giles rose to his feet, looking around him as he reviewed the events of the fight. “Riley,” he asked finally, “do you know if Professor Walsh did gender based comparisons on the efficacy of this chip?”
Riley stood up, rubbing his neck. “I don’t think so. We never had a lot of female vampires to work from.”
“Yeah, why is that?” Willow interjected curiously. “Is Sunnydale the sports bar of hellmouths or something?”
“Nah,” Xander pitched in, hanging the axe back up. “The girl vamps were all just smart enough to ask for directions to get outta town.”
“People, please,” Giles sighed. He turned back to Spike. “Without better information, this is strictly conjecture. But some gender theorists believe that in the instinctive human mind, when threatened, male brains are wired more for fight, while women’s are more for flight. When you threw Riley, it was an instinctive defense maneuver which probably processed itself in your brain chemistry as preparation for escape, bypassing the chip’s detection of hostile intent. You didn’t intend to hurt Riley, so regardless of the outcome, it didn’t fire. Only when you actively sought to do harm did it register and discharge.”
“That’s a hell of a loophole,” Xander whistled.
Giles shrugged. “It’s an indication of how little we really understand the finer physical differences between the sexes. It would be interesting to document the differences . . .”
“Why do I always end up a bloody science experiment around you lot?” Spike complained, finally dragging himself to his feet.
“Because you’re a freak of nature?” Buffy replied snidely.
“Well, now I’m a scientist. Come on, Slayer. Let’s do this.”
“Do what?” she asked suspiciously.
“Wanna see if I can control this, keep the chip quiet while handing you your ass.”
“You have got to be joking.”
“Do I look like I’m jokin’?” he asked, readying himself for her attack.
She looked to Giles, but he just shrugged to indicate it was her decision. If Spike wanted to risk the pain, it certainly couldn’t do her training any harm.
Her face focused and she moved once again into the center. “Okay, Spike, let’s see what you can do.”
They had barely started when he winced and stepped back. “Bugger.”
“Didn’t think so.” She started to back away.
“Come again, Slayer,” he commanded, preparing himself once more.
“Spike . . .”
“Come. Again.” There was something cold, controlled in his voice.
She looked at him curiously, but stepped back up and attacked again.
They got only a little further this time before he grabbed his head in pain.
“Oh, for pity’s sake.” The pedagogue in Giles could stay quiet no longer. “Stop anticipating her. The chip is reading it as an attack response. You need to empty your mind and simply respond to what she does.”
Spike glowered at him from behind his fist. “Who are you, Mr. soddin’ Miyagi now?”
“Spike, if you want to master this, you’ll listen to me. Otherwise the rest of us should very much like to go home.”
“Fine, fine.” He shook it off, releasing the frustration that had built up in his whole body. Then he took a deep, unneeded breath in through his nose and slowly blew it back out.
Interesting. Perhaps just the action of cleansing breathing had an effect on vampires, regardless of the exchange of oxygen. He’d have to ask . . .
Spike was right. They did treat him like an experiment.
“Don’t anticipate, just respond,” Spike repeated several times, focusing and relaxing as he prepared himself. Finally he looked to Buffy and just nodded.
She came at him with a quick one two punch which he easily blocked. She kicked low and punched high, both of which he easily dodged.
They both grinned ferally. And cut loose.
Giles had never seen the two of them fight before. The only time he had been present at one of their battles, he’d been busy fighting for his own life. If her match with Riley was graceful, this was pure artistry. It was as though, having mastered all the rules of combat, they were now able to disregard them and let their well-trained bodies direct them. Spike held his own admirably despite his limitations, advancing as much as he retreated, even managing to land several blows without triggering the chip. Buffy for her part seemed exhilarated. Giles had never seen her fight so well. Spike challenged her, forced her to draw on all her training, using techniques Giles had taught her but didn’t know she had retained, and some he wasn’t even aware she knew. And unlike her fight with Riley, these two were far from silent, taunting and insulting each other freely as they moved about the floor. A part of Giles shuddered. If this was how they sparred, their life and death battles must have been ferocious.
They struggled back and forth for almost fifteen minutes before Buffy was finally able to get an advantage over him, gripping his arm as she swept at his feet, dropping him to the mat with his wrenched arm still in her grip. “Give?”
With a panting laugh he nodded, and she released his arm.
“I’ll always be the better woman, Spike,” she towered over him, mocking.
“Oh yeah?” He closed his eyes and with a surprise kick, he smashed her knee out, making her tumble and drop on top of him. “But don’t forget I’ll always be the better man,” Giles thought he heard him mutter.
When Buffy didn’t instantly move away, Giles had a sudden premonition of what was to come, could almost feel the implacability of fate pushing it along.
Not again. Not another one. Oh lord, not this one.
After a moment’s hesitation, she got to her feet, leaving him sprawled on the floor as she grabbed her workout towel.
“Thanks for the rough and tumble, pet,” Spike smirked, getting to his feet himself. “I learned a lot.”
“Alright, everyone,” Giles interrupted before Buffy could respond, “that’s enough for tonight. Buffy, you still need to patrol, but the rest of you can head home. I don’t think we can do any more here tonight.”
Buffy nodded. “Riley, you with me?”
“Sure. Just let me get our coats.”
“My turn tomorrow, Slayer,” Spike said when Riley had left the room. “Want to see if I can put these new skills to good use.”
“Whatever, Spike. It’s not like there’s a sign up sheet.”
He picked up his coat and turned to her with a smirk. “Maybe there should be. Might help you keep track. Keep from forgetting where your interests are supposed to be.” And before she could retort, he had disappeared out the back door.
“Buffy.” Giles caught her attention before she could follow Riley.
“Yeah, Giles?”
He moved to her, removing his glasses uncomfortably. “Buffy, I hate to bring up such a delicate matter . . .”
“Uh-oh.” She looked horrified. “Are you giving me The Talk? This is The Talk, isn’t it?”
He grimaced sheepishly. “You have a young man’s hormones now, and you aren’t used to dealing with them. I just wanted to remind you that starting any kind of relationship or experimentation right now could have . . . awkward consequences.”
“Giles, I’m already in a relationship, remember? No need to start one. And I’m sooo not interested in experimenting. I just want to get things back to normal and get back to the good old Buffy bod.”
“So you haven’t felt any attraction to anyone since you were changed?”
He caught her eyes darting to the back door before she met his look. “Nothing worth worrying about. I’m not the type to jump sorority girls at the Bronze. So you can relax, Dad. Now if you don’t mind, I’d really like to go out and kill things.”
“Be careful,” he said to her retreating back. And knew despite her reassurances that she was going to need it.
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